Beyblade Talk Show
by lunacrest
Summary: Ever wanted to see how your favourite beyblade characters will react on TV? Well now you can! I, your host, will kid- I mean invite them for the epic Beyblade Talkshow! The interviews consist of: Gone wrong, "nice" interview and killing spree. Comes with hilarious advertisements! Rated T for language, lots of insaneness and a bit of violence.
1. Welcome!

**Rated T for language and a bit of blood. There will be swear words.**

**Hallo guys and welcome to my new story. It's the **

***chanting* BEYBLADE TALK SHOW**

**This is the show where I kindly interview the beyblade cast on stuff ^_^ So... LET'S BEGIN THE**

**BEYBLADE TALK SHOW!**

***cue Hollywood style intro and zoom into the room***

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><p>Welcome folks to the beyblade talkshow where I, your host will interview the cast. Other insane authoresses are welcome to join, just write it in a review and your in~<p>

For our very first OW! GINGKA STOP BEING THE WORST AT EVERYTHING! JUST HOLD THE STUPID DAMN MICROPHONE STILL! Kiyoko~ I need you~

Kiyoko: Yes? :D

Your so cute! Anyway, use your flaming and skittle shooting chainsaw of doom, AKA Fluffiness, at that redhead. :)

Kiyoko: YES LUNA! *salutes*

*inserts girlish screams*

I've taught her so well :) WAIT, IDEA~

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><p><strong>*Monotone voice* Please wait, our host will return after a short advertisement.<strong>

_**Ever had an angry Dynamis chasing after you? Or ever wanted to destroy an asshole? Or you just can't take it and your anger is about to burst? **_

_**Well we have the perfect solution!**_

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_**For just the price of 1 bit, you can kill anyone you like by destroying that muthaf*cker with another muthaf*cker!**_

_**Much more, this weapon can add more sass to your anger, making it cool and giving you the fuel to slam down harder!**_

_**Call 973489678264-Gingkahammer now!**_

_**Hurry! And you'll get Fluffiness, a Kiyoko and Dynamis doll and a cookie!**_

_**Now comes in Ryugahammer, Kyoyahmmer and Plutohammer!**_

_**Our company is not responsible for**_

_**1) Blood everywhere**_

_**2) A cookie crazed Kiyoko**_

_**3) A sugar rush and super active Kiyoko**_

_**4) An angry Dynamis**_

_**6) Gingka, Ryuga and Kyoya trying to kill you**_

_**5) Pluto trying to inflict a curse on you**_

_**6) Anger and frustration**_

_**and**_

_**7) Paying fees for funerals **_

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><p>And we're back! Now lets welcome Gingka Hagane!<p>

Gingka: *falls through ceiling into alligator poop* WAGGGGHHH!

So how are you Mr Hagane?

Gingka: ARE YOU INSANE? YOU DROPPED ME DOWN FROM THE CEILING INTO ALLIGATOR POOP AND I THINK I BROKE MY SPINE!

Well technically I am insane and I see that you are very pleased by your arrival methods. :D

Gingka: -_-

Hey why the long face? Anyway, first question: Why do you suck so much?

Gingka: I do not! I am the number 1 blader of the world! I defeated Ryuga! I defeated Dr Ziggurat! I DEFEATED RAGO AND NEMESIS AND PLUTO AND HADES!

Nope not exactly. You stole the essence of bladers spirits to win. And all fans say that you suck.

Gingka: THEY GAVE IT TO ME! AND WHAT THE HELL FANS?!

That's still a no though.

Gingka: THAT IS IT MUTHAF*CKER! *lunges at me*

*le burns him and kills him with Kindness, my midnight katana* WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? Ahem. That's all for today's Beyblade Talk Show. Bye~


	2. Absol of the Night has arrived!

**Hello and welcome back to the show that everybody has been talking about (not), the**

**BEYBLADE TALK SHOW!**

**We have a guest star today and she is the fabulous, fantastic, fantabulous, insane and awesome**

***insert drumroll***

**NYXABSOL, AKA, NYX. And her oc Tsuki! (idk which ocs you wanted)**

***Nyx and her oc fall down the ceiling ninja style into a tub of horses, fluffiness and Chris's cookies***

**Chris: Wait. Astri isn't here?! Then what did I make these cookies for?!**

**Fine I'll summon her and the reason why is because she is actually kinda sane most of the time. *snaps finger***

**Astri: O/_/_/_/_****/****O**

**Chris: ****O/_/_/_/_****/****O Erm... I made some cookies for you...**

**Astri: T-thanks. *accepts cookies and her face becomes an impossible shade of red***

**ASTRI AND CHRIS SHIP! COOKIESHIPPING! (stupid name I know)**

***insert fangirl squeals***

** SHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIP.**

**Erm... sorry got sidetracked...**

**Anyway, lets start the BEYBLADE TALK SHOW!**

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><p>So... since you didn't say which beyblade character, I'll spin the Wheel of Destiny! (this is a real wheel and I did not choose. Yes, I made a wheel : What?! I was bored)

**P.S I forgot to mention that in the last chapter. To Gocty: If you're reading this, please comment which character you want to interview. If not, I'll spin the wheel. Also, write 1 or 2 questions you want to ask. Depending on the questions and character that you chose, I'll think of the other questions. Thank you!**

Now, lets spin the Wheel of Destiny! (Nyx, get it? Your character? Yeah... I'm bad with puns)

Round and round this wheel goes, who gets tor- I mean interviewed by the fantabulous crew of the past, present and future (I have no idea why I said that even though this has nothing to do with Christmas), no one knows!

*drumroll again*

Hmmm Dynamis? Wow, that must be a coincidence. (This literally happened :p) Anyway, lets welcome our guest interviewee, the guardian of the temple, the warrior's guide and the reader of the stars, Dynamis!

*Dynamis fell swiftly from the ceiling, trying as hard as he can to avoid the volcano of doom, AKA the emptied out volcano filled with pink dye*

**I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE HATERS! I DON'T CARE IF THIS JOKE IS OVERUSED! I'M STILL DOING IT!**

Dynamis: YAS! I missed the pinkness by an inch! I was lucky that Gingka told me about this stupid show. If not, I won't be prepared with a gun, a grappling hook, a parachute, training in the ninja way and tons of other things. ;D Also, he's complaining that he did not get an introduction like mine.

**But what he didn't realise was that the volcano he avoided was a hologram and he landed straight into the real volcano. DUN DUN DUN!**

Dynamis: COME ON! HOW MANY F*CKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO DO THIS JOKE! And I was just having fun burning your new storyboard :(

Luna: YOU F*CKING DID WHAT?! I NEED TO MURDER YOU SOMEWAY YOU STUPID LITTLE B*TCH! EVEN IF YOU ARE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER! *grabs Fluffiness*

Nyx: Whoa. Slow down Luna. Calm yourself. And why do you curse so much :-/

Dynamis: Finally she makes sense.

Nyx: After this interview, you can torture him as much as you like.

Dynamis: And she's back :( WAIT JUST A SECOND. Luna and Nyx in the same f*cking room. *hyperventilating and curls into a ball* This can't be happening. Thiscan'tbehappening. Thiscan'tbehappening. Thiscan'tbehappening.

Luna: But it is :D Now, pull yourself together we have an interview to get started on!

Luna, Tsuki and Nyx: YAY!

**_Please sit back and relax while you watch this advertisement._**

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><p><strong><em>Have you ever had an angry oc or canon character destroy the very power of your story ideas? Do you want to get it back but have no idea how to?<em>**

**_Well the LunarAbsol company has just the right thing for you!_**

**_With the Nyxator ,you can get your ideas back in just a few steps!  
><em>**

**_1) Choose a sacrifice (I recommend Dynamis) and knock them out cold or convince them there is lots of cookies in the Nyxator._**

**_2) Lock the doors once they are in._**

**_3) Press the big red button. It will start the machine and give you, Kiyoko, Astri and a person of your choice a free cookie cake!_**

**_4) Open the door and a animal which represents you will be there._**

**_5) Play with that animal or pet it and a rainbow of ideas will appear!_**

**_The Nyxator comes in: Cotton Candy flavour, Lollipop flavour, Vanilla, Chocolate, Popcorn, Rainbow, Flavour which changes with each bite, Chocolate chip, Pie _****_and Cheesecake!_**

**_This product is absolutely free and if you order it now, you get a free unicorn of your choice!_**

**_Call now at 452598732- Nyx is awesome_**

* * *

><p>Luna: And we're back! Let's welcome back Dynamis!<p>

Dynamis: *appears hanging upside down from a rope* -_- SERIOUSLY LUNA?!

Nyx: It's to make sure you don't escape. ^_^

Dynamis: Jupi- *spots Tsuki with a water balloon in her hand* Erm... I mean I'm definitely not going to escape using Jade Jupiter!

Tsuki: *nods* Good Dynamis :)

Luna: Nyx, I give you the privilege of asking the first question.

Nyx: Thanks! ^-^ Now, Dynamis, why didn't you fight Nemesis by yourself?

Dynamis: The prophecy said that all 9 legendary bladers are required to defeat Nemesis.

Luna: You know this is kinda boring. Tsuki, I task you to throw a water balloon at Dynamis after every sentence he says.

Tsuki: Yes! *throws water balloon* (imagine that after every sentence Dynamis gets thrown at with a water balloon since I'm too lazy to type it :p)

Dynamis: -_-

Nyx: Ok. So prophecy this, prophecy that. Couldn't you at least attempt to fight him?

Dynamis: The stars said it would fail. And you should never underestimate the prophecy left behind a powerful ancient evil god who has a bey which could destroy the entire world. Also, Pluto would just inflict the curse on me earlier on.

Luna: So you did know that the Hades Curse will still work! By the way, how the f*cking hell does concealing the necklace under your robes help protect you form the curse -.-

Dynamis: I knew about Hades Curse and I was hoping that it wouldn't work. Also, have any other ideas to stop it from working? Hmmmmmm?

Nyx: Burn it, stomp on it, throw it down the temple and put it on Gingka. I still have tons of other ideas :D

Dynamis: But that will disrespect my ancestors! AND STOP THAT B*TCH FROM THROWING WATER BALLOONS AT ME!

Tsuki: o.e Who the f*ck cares! ALSO YOU WILL PAY! *does all existing karate, aikido and kung fu moves on Dynamis*

Dynamis: OW! NYX STOP YOUR OC!

Nyx: No can do ^-^ Also *snaps finger and Dynamis appears stuck in a giant chocolate fudge pudding surrounded by demon bunnies and horses, as well as shiny mega lucarios and absols* That's better! MORE INSANITY!

Luna: YAS! And next question, isn't Jupiter and Zeus more or less the same? Zeus is technically the Greek name of Jupiter. Also, this adds on to the fact that you should be able to defeat Nemesis on your own since Zeus/Jupiter is the light version of Hades, or in this case Nemesis.

Dynamis: I- Erm... Maybe- I DON'T FREAKING KNOW! I hate to admit but you're right. Writers! You better have an explanation for this. -_-"

Nyx: Finally you admit that we're right! Anyway, I agree with you surprisingly as well. WRITERS! WE WILL DO A RIOT FOR THE HOLES AND THE NEW SORRY EXCUSE OF BEYBLADE! Luna! Let's sign a petition!

_**Petition:**_

_**Nyx**_

_**Luna**_

Luna: Yeah... this will never succeed. Anyway, third question back to you Nyx!

Tsuki: *was bored and unleashes Fluffiness wrath on Dynamis*

*insert screams*

Nyx: ^_^ Nice going Tsuki! And onto our last question of this chapter: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER?!

Dynamis: I don't know... Are people seriously raging about this?

Luna: YES WE ARE! You should be the freaking main character! You have (or would have) such an interesting backstory! You are so mysterious and awesome! How did you get the curse? Who is your family? Will Astri ever be featured in Metal Fight Beyblade?

Astri: Probably not.

Nyx: There are so many better ocs than mine ._.

Luna: SHIT! Why you always so depressed about your stories?! I dare everyone reading this to go on Nyxabsol's page and follow her and say that she is one of the best insane authoress ever! Anyway, I guess this chapter is over. See you next chapter. Remember to leave a review if you want to join, state your interviewee and questions. Also, if you also want your oc to join, include that as well!

Nyx, Tsuki, Luna: BYE~

*lights all turn off and everyone walks out*

Dynamis: Guys! I'm still stuck in the fudge pudding! I can't move my hand and there are pokemon and animals guarding me! Guys?!

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><p><strong>Hi sorry I'm not updating often because of school and homework.<strong> **Also, OH MY FRICKING GOD! How did I reach 1.7k words?! I usually write very little :p Erm... I guess I'll reply to reviews. I'll only do that if I'm in the mood and I remember.**

**Nyx: Thanks for saying this is genius. It's not actually. I just like torturing beyblade characters and I love talk shows so I thought: Why not combine both of them? Thanks for ordering the Gingkahammer by the way. 1000000000000000000000000000000000 of them have arrived on your doorstep :)**

**Gocty: Thank you! You can be in this. Just refer to the note above ^^ I tend to be very forgetful ^-^" Here's a free Gingkahammer! Yeah, people do hate Gingka. Everything is just so easy for him. He doesn't suffer a lot so not many can relate to him and he so far has shown almost no flaws! Dynamis would be a much better main character :p I also ship Rago and Dynamis sometimes. But when he found out, he chased me for about a year! Does he never get tired?**

**Until next chapter, have a nice week!**


	3. Goctilicious Awesomeness!

**Hullou uvurybudy! Whut's up? Surry fur nut updutung. Blume schuul and humewurk and my mum cus shu dud nut alluw mu tu use thu cum. (Translation: Hello everybody! What's up? Sorry for not updating. Blame school and homework and my mom cos she did not allow me to use the com.)**

**Dynamis: Why are you talking like that?**

**Uh ut's a dure frum my fruund tu chungu ull vuwuls tu "u" un un untru uf unu uf my fucs. But dun't wurry, I wull be swutchung buck to nurmul Englush uftur thus. (Translation: Oh it's a dare from my friend to change all vowels to "u" on an intro of one of my fics. But don't worry, I will be switching back to normal English after this.)**

**Dynamis: On a side note, WHY THE FUCKING HELL AM I STILL HANGING FROM THE WALL?!**

**Cus u guust ruquustued yuu fur thu unturvuuw, und yuu ulruudy knuw hur! (Translation: Cos a guest requested you for the interview, and you already know her!)**

**Dynamis: Great. I already know this will be excellent. -_- *thinks* It's Gocty isn't it?**

**Yup! Und thus wull bu uwusumu! Su unter thu umuzing und uncrudublu Gocty! (Translation: Yup! And this will be awesome! So enter the amazing and incredible Gocty!)**

**Gocty: *flys in* YOU CAN'T FLY TSUBASA! BUT I CAN! BUT DON'T TRY IT AGAIN! I NEED YOU ALIVE! (I just loved that chapter)**

**Tsubasa: FINE! BUT WHEN ITS MY BIRTHDAY I AM DEMANDING A EAGLE THAT IS BIG ENOUGH TO FLY ON!**

**Luna: ALRIGHT I WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING THAT CAN FLY (I got to lazy to replace them. Sorry my pal.) *snaps finger***

**Tsubasa: *a fat fluffy Pegasus appears on top of Tsubasa and squashes him* OWWWW I SAID EAGLE NOT PEGASUS!**

**Gingka: PEGASUS!**

**Kyoya: LION!**

**Benkei: B-B-BULL!**

**TSUBASA: EAGLE!**

**Gocty and Luna: *tunes them out***

**Luna: Ok, who invited them in?**

**My pet animals raise their hands/hoove/paw/so on so forth.**

**Luna: COME ON!**

**Gocty: Err Luna, I think we should start.**

**Luna: Oh right!**

**Gocty: *poofs all the beyblade character away except Dynamis***

**Luna: Without further ado, let's start the**

**Gocty and Luna: BEYBLADE TALK SHOW!**

* * *

><p><em>Oh crap! He (Dynamis) managed to cut his rope!<em>

_Oh crap! He used slap on Gocty and Luna! It's not very effective..._

_Gocty used metal chain tie! It's super effective!_

_Oh crap! He tried to break free! There was no effect..._

_Luna used inner rage! It's super effective!_

_Gocty and Luna froze Dynamis in a chocolate popsicle and removed the metal chain! It's super effective!_

Luna: Ok now let's really start.

Dynamis: How am I still conscious in a chocolate popsicle?!

Gocty: It's magic!

Dynamis: -_- Oh Zeus. Stars, save me.

Luna: Anyway let's start the first question!

Gocty: Do you like wearing a robe? Why do you even wear it? It makes you kinda look like a girl!

Dynamis: Well I wear it cos I feel fabulous while wearing it! I LOVE wearing it!

Gocty: Erm.. I'm pretty sure that Dynamis did not say that.

Luna: Oops! That was a Dynabot I bought from Nyx! (Me and Nyx are having shoutout wars) *poofs him away*

Dynamis: I have to wear it due to me being the guardian of Mist Mountain and well, though it makes me feel unique and all, I don't really like it. It does make me kinda feel like a girl and that is how Luna started that fucking running gag -_-

Luna: But it's just waaaaay too fun! But I understand that some of you are irritated by it. I'll stop it for Anyway, we need more chaos! FIRE UP THE PAINTBALL CANNON!

Gocty: And shooting!

Dynamis: *gets pummeled by paintballs* Why me?

Luna: Why you?

Gocty: Why us? (A running gag of one of my favourite books)

Luna: Anyway, where are your parents? Where are my parents? Where is everyone's parents?

Dynamis: Erm... not exactly too sure... I guess you have to read some headcannons about it... I can tell you my view but I'm kind of scared of angry authors and authoresses arguing about what they think. But until the beyblade company gives us the truth, we have to wait.

Gocty: Ok... anyway, get yourself some popcorn cos the commercial is starting in...

_3..._

_2.._

_1!_

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><p><strong>Having another horrible day? Being bullied at school? Being just terrible at Sports Day? Well, unlike the solutions we said the while back we said were the best, this really is the best! <strong>

**It's the Head Canon! Just shove anything, though an actual person is suggested! And a rainbow of hope will appear!**

**Just kidding! There's no product! The only way to beat these depressions/bad emotions is up to you! Be it hanging with friends, drawing or writing, everyone has they're own ways to overcome these feelings :) So chin up, hold up your head, go ahead and brighten up your day ^_^ Even go into psychopath mode and go sadistic! Go and burn 1D photos! Kill and torture them in your dreams and slice and dice their organs! WE GOTTA LET THEM BURN BURN BURN!**

**Errrr... my violent side showing? Ehehehe ^_^" Anyway, you probably get my point. And sorry 1D fans but I still hate them... So yeah... Back to the show!**

* * *

><p>Luna: Errrr couldn't really think of anything funny so I just expressed my feelings to help all those people feeling down out there :) But if you still say I am just seeking attention, I will find you and I <em>will <strong>kill YOU! <strong>_*is now on fire*

Gocty: Eep! *fans the flame* AHHHHHHHH FIYAHHHHHHHHHH!

Dynamis: AHHHHHHHHH! SAVE MEEEEEE! *was burned as black as a brownie*

*Skittle sprinklers were activated*

* * *

><p>Luna: Anyway, back to the questions ^_^<p>

Gocty: How do you act like nothing happened?

Luna: Skittles... and torturing Dynamis

Dynamis: *was back to normal and duck taped to the wall* I hate you -_-

Luna: Hate is a strong word :D

Dynamis: Fine. I despise you.

Luna: That has the same meaning...

Gocty: Anyway, why couldn't you have supernatural powers? It suits you so well and you can predict the future!

Dynamis: You could say I do have powers cos like you say I can somewhat predict the future. Not really exactly predict the future, more like given hints by the stars.

Luna: LAMEEEEEEEEE

Dynamis: That what do you suppose? o.e

Luna: Telekinesis, mid control, telepathy, anything is better than getting subtle hints from the stars .-.

Dynamis: Then you take over the beyblade company!

Luna: FINE!

_**A few minutes later**_

Luna: I'm the new head ^_^

Gocty: How did you manage that?

Luna: Ehehehe ^_^" *hides a bloody Fluffiness and Kindness behind my hands*

Gocty: LUNA!

Dynamis: O.O

Luna: Well, at least Dynamis now has supernatural powers and is the main character ^_^

Gocty: True :)

Dynamis: You know that isn't true right?

Luna: LIE! *murders Dynamis*

Gocty: Ok... anyway erm... what secret does your ancestry hold? Anything deep and dark?

Dynamis: Like I said with the parents question, you have to wait for Beyblade to show it. And just read the headcannons I guess :p

Gocty: But we wanna know the truth :( Oh well..

Luna: And the last question, how much do you hate Pluto?

Dynamis: Just poof up Pluto.

Gocty: Ok done...

Pluto: Huh what am I doing here?! *looks at Gocty and Luna* AHHHH ITS THE CRAZY AUTHORESSSSSS! Oh and Dynamis -_-

Dynamis: The feeling's mutual -_- Let me prepare *takes out a whip and a machine gun and a guillotine*

Pluto: No no no don't! AHHHHHHH! *insert girly screams*

Luna: I taught you well ^_^ WAIT! ARE THOSE MY TORTURE DEVICES?! OH NO YOU DIDN'T! *assassinates Dynamis*

Gocty: So the lesson of the day is; Don't ever take Luna's torture devices! ^_^"

Luna: Anyway, that's all for today :D

Gocty: By the way, how did you get Dynamis to answer the questions so well?

Luna: Obedience training ^_^

Dynamis: The horror... the horror...

Luna: Hey wanna throw water balloons at the beyblade characters?

Gocty: Sure :D

Luna: BYE~

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><p><strong>Hi guys sorry for not updating :P <strong>

**To Warrior: sorry I couldn't finish your Talk Show part. For your contest, just take this chappie :) I will still write your part but it will be more of a fan chapter.**

**Also, give a round of applause to Gocty ^_^ Sorry if she acted out of character. I can't type that well.**

**Anyway, keep giving requests and please give me ideas for the advertisements. I cant think anymore :p **

**Bye people~**


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